DO YOU MISS SMALL TOWNS?
"So I take the bobcat over and try to help her out and end up running over one of her steel driveway markers that she'd knocked over with her own plow. Went right through my tire. It's gonna cost me $500 to try to do someone a free favor. "
"Come sit next to me, I don't bite ...much (The irony here is that the octagenerian speaker had no teeth)."
"I can't wear them. They's too plump."
"I called up for a load of logs and he wanted $40 bucks a cord. That's what I'm paying for split and ready wood!" "Really, then you should tip that guy real good and then send him over to me..."
"I like your scarf, it matches your hat - oh it's brown and that's black? Well it still looks real nice."
"Not me..what's good is when it's on oatmeal - I like it like 'at."
Oh and my personal favorite: "Where's the global warming????"
Now..."How do you want your eggs?"
PS: The whole bill was under $10. You've gotta love a small town, eh?